As a mental wellness expert working closely with high achievers in competitive environments, I’ve seen firsthand how the traits that drive success can also create immense stress. For those who excel in many areas, the pressure to do everything all at once is real. With ample opportunities and pathways to success, high achievers often chase certifications, accolades, and the next significant achievement, rarely pausing and reflecting on what they truly want in life.

My grandmother wisely said, “We can have everything we want. We might not get it at the same time.”

The Pressure of Being Good at Many Things

One of the unique stressors high achievers face is having too many options. When you’re good at multiple things—business, academics, leadership, or creative pursuits—the world feels wide open. You’re constantly presented with opportunities for advancement: another certification, a new accolade, the next big project. It often feels like the only way forward is to keep climbing, accumulating more skills and accomplishments.

This relentless pursuit of “what’s next” often comes at the expense of something crucial: your well-being. High achievers feel their value is directly tied to their deliverables and the next achievement. As a result, they can fall into the trap of always pushing, always doing—without pausing to appreciate what they’ve already accomplished.

This mindset can lead to burnout. Relentlessly chasing success and seeking validation through external markers like certifications and accolades can become exhausting. High achievers may lose sight of what they’re genuinely passionate about, focusing instead on checking off boxes on an ever-growing list of “to-dos.”

Finding the Pause: Rest, Reflection, and Joy

Here’s the truth: you don’t need to chase every opportunity. Taking time to pause, reflect, and rest can make you more successful in the long run. When we constantly push ourselves without rest, we lose clarity and creativity. Allowing yourself space to step back gives your mind and body a chance to recharge, making it easier to identify what truly matters and what your next step should be.

Intentional rest isn’t about doing nothing. It’s about finding peace in stillness and joy in awaiting what comes next. It’s about trusting that you’re exactly where you need to be, even if you’re not actively chasing something at that moment.

As high achievers, we are often uncomfortable slowing down because it goes against our “do more, be more” mindset. But by slowing down, we can see things more clearly. We can reconnect with what brings us joy, rediscover passions, and figure out what’s truly worth pursuing—not because it’s expected but because it aligns with our values and long-term goals.

Learning to Wait in Peace

The challenge for high achievers is not just resting but learning to wait in peace. In a world that glorifies productivity, waiting—without immediate deliverables—can feel counterproductive. But waiting in peace is about cultivating patience and trusting the process. It’s about recognizing that while you may not achieve everything at once, you can achieve it all in time.

It’s important to remember that the journey to success and wealth is not a sprint. Enjoying the present doesn’t mean giving up on your goals. It means recognizing that success is sustainable only when balanced with joy, well-being, and rest.

My grandmother wisely said, “We can have everything we want. We might not get it at the same time.” So, slow down. Breathe. Celebrate the achievements you’ve already made. Trust that by pausing and finding joy in the present, you are setting yourself up for sustainable, long-term success—on your terms.

I’ve lived this experience myself

As a university professor, complex trauma therapist, TEDx presenter, and sought-after speaker, my career has been filled with high expectations and the constant pursuit of growth. But there were many moments when I had to consciously choose to pause, breathe, and prioritize rest and joy over the chase for the next thing.

I waited years to complete my master’s degree until I had the bandwidth and the logistics, at least semi-structured, to do so. I also had to bite the bullet and go to a much more expensive private school within ten minutes of my house to make it work with my kid’s schedule, as opposed to a fabulous public university that was much more affordable but required commuting to New York City for 1.5 hours each way without backup childcare. Many moons after, I sat on the fence, weighing different doctoral programs for seven years while balancing my daughters’ needs, the COVID-19 pandemic, and my energy levels. Throughout that time, I held myself with enough kindness so as not to run off to sign up for school and burnout, or the longing desire to treat everyone (not in my niche) or chase shiny objects like growing an extensive group practice—because my life couldn’t support that path without me fundamentally changing how my brain works and what a replenishing schedule looks like for me.

I worked hard to pace myself. I added support like a business coach, women’s business groups, and mom support organizations. Choosing the self is a commitment I had to make repeatedly. I still do it to this day. And in doing so, I accomplished everything I set out as a goal. There were moments of discomfort—feeling the tug of helping many versus just a few. But sitting with that discomfort led me to discover new, creative outlets that perfectly aligned with where I was at the time and where I was going next. I found that writing articles, delivering a TEDx talk, being a speaker, and training professionals became the perfect answer to that juncture. I continue tending this garden with future-oriented pursuits like working on writing a mental wellness book series, launching a mental wellness YouTube channel, and developing in-person and recorded mental health courses for the public. It has become the “chef’s kiss” that ties it all together. With stillness and support, the discomfort and confusion can be reversed and engineered into a path blueprint aligned with our energy, light, and greater calling.

Conclusion

For high achievers, success isn’t just about accumulating more accolades and deliverables; it’s about creating a life of balance, joy, and fulfillment while continuing to excel. By embracing rest, intentional reflection, and the wisdom of waiting in peace, you open yourself up to growth that enhances your performance and overall happiness.

Take action today. Allow your community to sit, breathe, and align with their true purpose. Help them release the pressure and focus on getting the right support and coaching to unlock a more fulfilling and sustainable version of success. Life within your organization can become more manageable, joyful, and, ultimately, aligned with their collective goals.

If you’re ready to bring this mindset shift to your school or business, I’m here to help. Together, we can build environments that drive productivity, growth, and fulfillment while fostering a mindset of sustainable success. Reach out today, and let’s collaborate to transform your community’s experiences, performance, and growth mindset.